The Courting Candle

During the 18th and 19th centuries, when a young man courted a young lady, it was proper etiquette for the couple to visit in the parlor for the evening.  The young lady’s father would light the candle and set the height of the flame above the spirals.  When the flame burned down to the candleholder it was then time for the young man to leave. 

If the young man showed some promise, the father would raise the candle to give the suitor more time with his daughter.  If he was a man that did not meet expectations, the father lowered the candle and cut his time in half.

We bought our own ‘courting’ candle when our daughters hit puberty.  Although we have not actually used it for this purpose, our views on dating-courtship-marriage are indeed very different from the world’s views.  I won’t get into those views here on the blog but if you ever want to know you can email me.

Our firstborn brought her beau home to meet us this weekend.  Was the candle set to burn for a LONG time or was it set to burn for a SHORT time?  What did we think of the beau?  Does he show promise?  Is this a good match? 

The following pictures will answer those questions:






 They are MOST definitely twitterpaited!

And we MOST definitely approve!

17 Comments on “The Courting Candle

  1. Awwwww…that is the sweetest photo. Congrats! I was dying to know how it went. Just got a little chill down my spine thinking of DS1 and his lovely GF,,,best wishes for their continued happiness….

  2. How wonderful to see the twitterpaited, and even better when parents can look upon it and approve. Such joy for everyone!

  3. What a beautiful backstory! And I like that you incorporated a somewhat forgotten tradition into your family.

    The last photo tells it all. Wonderful capture of them together.

  4. Interesting. I’ve never heard of a courting candle before. Of course, my husband and I were pretty much a permanent item before my mother ever met him (we were in the Philippines and my mom wasn’t). She wouldn’t have liked him. She’d have yanked the candle out of the holder. Horrible grammar. Biker. Tattoos. Etc. By the time she did meet him, she’d heard so much about him that she loved him (and I’m convinced she likes him more than she likes me).

    It’s good to hear you like your daughter’s beau from the get-go.

  5. It is good to read that someone else has established good values and high standards for thier kids.

    The picture is sweet. I remember those days of twitterpaited. Sigh. Now twitterpaited has become rich and joyful and enduring through many years of laughter and challenges. However It is still just as sweet and satisfying as it was in the early days…sigh. Thanks so much for sharing:D

  6. Such a lovely picture – it must feel great when you approve of your daughter’s choice. I am hoing this will also happen when my time comes ( I have 2 daughters).

  7. What a great picture of their heads! I’m so glad she picked out on her parents like, but then of course she had obviously got her good taste from you!

  8. I’ve never heard about one of those before, but I like it! They look so sweet together! Don’t even get me started on todays society… I’m just going to try to bring my kids up with some respect of the opposite sex ;O) And try not to care about what the “world says”

  9. I had never heard of the courting candle thanks for sharing. I know that my husband and I have non worldly views for our daughters and son too. I am just glad the oldest is only 7 right now.

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